Should I or Should I Not?

Currently, i am having a tiny. not so tiny, maybe tiny, problem. I don't feel like i belong in my group of friends anymore. Not the Ixora gang. They are great. I mean the gang in my own class. Charlotte and they all. When i try to talk with them, the seem to push me away.  don't know if they really are but from my point of view, they really are. I try to talk but they seem to shut me out. Today, i resisted their constant chatting in front of me, i got pissed but i didn't really show it, so i asked Asuka if i could change places with her for the time period. At least I have some peace and i wouldn't hear all the stupid blabbering about the soon to come Hui Lin's farewell party which I am not invited to and never will be because the organizer is Bhanu which is officially a Diana Rodzi hater.  They all planed to go Mid Valley, then Bhanu said Genting. That is crazy no matter how you make it sound. Yeah, it sounds fun, rent a house, the whole group of friends but the plan is just plain crazy.What parent will allow their child to go to GENTING without adult supervision of ANY KIND? No one, not my parents.

So i just emo-ed at Asuka's seat doing my Novel which in my whole life, i actually did the exercise on the same day the teacher gave it. I got a little benefit. But i did some thinking, are they, the gang, actually my friends? Or, are they just using me as my mom always says. I used to think that they are just having time on their own but now the more i think back, the more i think that maybe they ARE using me. When i am in a bad mood, the most is my friends saying, " you emo ah?". Then, i will nod and then they will continue their business. Not continuing tje conversation, but leaving it hanging in the balance. Sometimes I feel like slapping them so hard in the face and yelling, "why arn't you caring? Can't you see I am in a bad mood and needs cheering up?" but i just keep it all bottled inside. Now, i think the bottle is already filled to the brim. I just want to scream like a crazed maniac, let go of all the feelings bottled up inside.

Sometimes, i feel like i am being too desperate for attention. I push myself so that people will take pity of me, so that i could be the center of attention. That method doesn't work anymore. Now, i just choose to be isolated. A lone ranger. To have some private and peaceful time to myself. If it is possible, i want to transfer out of this school fast. I want to get out of here quick. I am going to try begging my mom to transfer me to Aussie and live with Uncle Wayne. I bet it would be even better there. No one knows me, i can have a fresh start.

Surprise?

Judging from the title, you must be thinking about some birthday surprise or something but, no. When i came to school, i sat down with my usual group of friends from 2 Ixora. Once the bell rings, we all would stand up and return back to my class. Sometimes it isn't so bad. The very short assembly started and Cik Harmaizan announced that all 2 Orkid and 2 Mawar students have to stay back after the assembly is over. So, we did.

We gathered around the teacher and she said, "Okay, now all of you go to the canteen and have some food, then be back here by 8." She opened the door to the Health Room so that we can put our bags there. Everybody was chattering about what is going to happen. I though it was a field trip of some sort and it turned out to be. The bus arrived at 8:30 and we all got on. As expected, everybody planned to sit with the person they desire. I wanted to sit with Asuka but she already planned to sit with Charlotte. I just watched as everybody found their respective pairs and I ended up alone. It was kinda fun, two seats all belong to me! No need to hug onto my bag. But, it is still depressing as i don't have anyone to talk to, so i just sat there, looking out the window, admiring the scenery.

At around 9, the bus arrived at Bukit Damansara Community Hall and for the Domino's School Support Program seminar to achieve good results. Each student was given a bottle of water and a small packet of muesli bar which was really tasty, i must admit, although the packaging claims that it contains less than 100 calories. Back to the topic, we entered the hall which is already filled with students from various other schools. I heard history questions being fired at unsuspecting students and one of them was "Who was the minister (or something like that) from China that is involved in the development of Kuala Lumpur?" and the name Yap Ah Loi flashed into my mind. Looks like the revision I did on Monday paid off. I actually remembered. Yay ME! *does London Tipton clap*

Then they showed a short slideshow and a short introduction about the Domino's Support School's program and the leading speaker Adam Khoo. Then he appeared! Singapore's Leading Businessman who won the award of the Youngest Millionare Under The Age of 40. Here's a pic.

He tought us some techniques on how to study, i even took down some notes. He told us a story about his childhood, which was very funny. The way he pronounced his secondary school name was funny. Ping Yi. Has anyone heard of it? I don't think so, but the logo is nice.

The school doesn't look that bad, although it is the top 3 schools in Singapore, from the bottom. But i like the logo. Oh well. I learned alot of things, and new words. I had fun. The journey back to school was also a lonely one. But this time, i napped. And it was one good nap indeed. We arrived one period before school ended so i stayed in the Library, reading Chicken Soup for the Teen Soul. I read it before but who cares? It is a good read. Anyway, gotta go. Going to pay a visit to my god-sister. She is so cute. BYE!

Carnival Day

Today was a very hectic, fun, tiring, awesome, day. I woke up all excited and then i reached school. My mom and my uncle from Penang came and help out. Good thing he drove the van or not, all of us are going to suffer carrying heavy things from the storeroom to the stalls at the end of the car park. No offence, but my mom kept going on and on about what to do and what not to do. I know she is giving advice and what not and that it is good for me, but she has to cool it off a little bit. The book stall was okay, sold more books than i expected. Ashraf and Atif bought all the Oprah Winfrey books.

After my shift at the book stall was over, i decided to go around and take pictures. Didn't take much just 39 miserable pictures. But all of them were okay. Initially, i was playing at my class water balloon game. After i was done playing, i decided to help out and tie the water balloons. I never knew the business was so good. My class practically stole all the 1 Ixora class customers. The orders kept coming in and we all filled and tied the balloons until our hand was painful and skin started to peel off. I pity Li Yuen, she can't even find the chance to eat. I told her to go and rest but she refused to. We all worked hard.

After i gave up tying the water ballons, i helped out at my classes cupcake and cookies stall. Sold out everything! I bought alot of food. And i had too much coupons. I ended up giving 6 Ringgit worth of coupons to Ashraf just so that he could buy his Oprah magazine. He had an Oprah Winfrey frenzy. And i found a David Choi buddy! Ashraf isn't all that bad. I wonder why i disliked the class so much. Now i think of them as okay people. I was emo for the entire period of sweeping the water balloon off the floor so i just walked to the third floor and went to the place where that happened. I told Asuka about it and she told me to forget about it. I'll try, although i have been trying for a year, but I'll try.

I shall end my post here because my time to online is about to finish so I'll just use the remaining tome to do some last minute stuff. Byes. :)

I'm Sorry

Actually, i don't know whether i should apologize or not. I think i should but at the same time, i don't think i should because it is not my fault, i think?

In the last post, i mentioned that he is going to show up on Friday but maybe he wont. Guess what, he did show up, and as suspected, he go and kacau the dunking machine setting up. I was actually surprised that he actually did stay back. He kinda followed me around for some reason but i just kept talking to my friends and keeping myself busy. I was talking to Kara when he was "waiting" behind me. But i walked to the girls changing room after that. The second time is where I was talking to Sher-Min and Serene. He was sitting at the pondok near the big gate. He saw me so he took a seat behind me. I said "Hi.", then continued the conversation. Then he whispered into my ear the plan we made the other day. I told Serene that i would be going jalan-jalan and left with him. I told him i had to go duty so i can't do it just yet. He obediently followed me to the library and waited for me.

Pn Tan was finding some banners so that we can hang it up and make the stall have some shade. He actually followed me down but detoured to the Arena Koko. After hanging everything, I made my way upstairs to pack my bags and go find him.  I don't know why i went and find him but i did. I saw him in the canteen sitting with Jin Hao and Elizabeth so i detoured to the counter to buy Ice Lemon Tea. I spent so much money today. More than i was suppose to. I think he saw me so he followed me to the stairs there. I talked to Huey Ning and then he kinda "pulled" me to the third floor. He asked me to sit down beside him but i hesitated so he pulled my hand gently and I sat down beside him.

I know we planned this for so long, to stay back on a Friday and just spend time together. Finally we did that but I think it is just wrong. When we were a couple, we didn't do these things but now, we did and we broke up a long time ago. I don't know why but i just cried. I just cried. He asked me what's wrong and i cried. He held me close, hugging me, saying that i don't have to cry. Well, the reason i am crying is because of you. But, i can't tell you that right? I didn't stop crying so he held me closer. Hugging me tighter. I have to admit, i liked the feeling. The feeling of being protected, being hugged when i am in sorrow. He asked me to look at him but i don't dare. I don't dare to. I don't know why, but i just don't. And the best thing came after, he showered me with kisses. But then, two form one boys came up so i ran away. I RAN AWAY! I though he would come find me, but instead, he went downstairs. I am so stupid!. And, I am sorry. Really Sorry....

Banned

Currently, I am banned from the internet until my finals are over. Well, at least that is what i think, maybe it is forever. Dunno lah. I only can online my my mom is around which is at night but these few days, my mom would be dead tired so i can online without worrying her checking up on me every 5 minutes.

The reason I am banned is not because i didn't study, okay, maybe that, but the main reason is that i kinda said something bad on facebook and my mom found out so i got nagged at. I hate it when my mom gets mad. She can do whatever possible. She poured everything out of my pencil case, took out every paper from my file and yelled at me for every picture that i printed. Then she checked my bag and tossed the book at my head because i borrowed Hui Lin and Charlotte's book but haven't copy yet. My mom made me do everything without caring that i had tuition after that.

The next day, I found out that my mom had to go through an operation because of something, i can't tell. She said it might be these two things, palse, or colon cancer. I don't want my mom to die. Not to "touch wood" or anything but i seriously don't want that. I don't want what happened to my mom happen to me. My grandma passed away when my mom was 15. And now, i am turning 15. I don't want her to die. I seriously don't. Hopefully it is not something very serious. Please....

Now, about the newsletter. I am so busy with it that my mom nags me to lay it off. I don't want to not the the newsletter but i don't feel like doing it either. These is only two people in the newsletter unit, me and Kiwan. I am the head designer and Kiwan is the head journalist. Since he is busy with his PMR which is coming in less than a month, he was banned from the computer so i have to do everything. The writing and the designing. And the teacher just have to make the deadline today. I had to finish everything up by last night. I slept at midnight. Surprisingly, i wasn't sleepy at all when i woke up. I was nearly late for school but the heck with it.

Tomorrow, i am so going to be busy with the Carnival Day preperations. I have to set up the dunking tank, and i have set up the stall and wrap the vegetables. Loads of things to do. Hopefully he won't come disturbing me. But i don't really mind tho. Actually he wanted to meet up with him tomorrow but i know that he won't show up so i said no. But then, i saw his twitter, saying that he declined his friend's hangout request saying he has a date. I can't help but think that the date is with me. Better stop thinking about it, i would be heartbroken in the end so i better stop.

I think i should end my post here because i have nothing else to say and i am in the ICTL room in school. Can't update much because i only have 2 hours of onlining time at home. Unless i go online via the Galaxy Tab  which is not always at home. Hopefully it would be at home today. Need to do revision. I can't do work without music. Even now i am listening to music. On My Mind by Cody Simpson. It is a very nice song. Like how he is on my mind right now. He moved up to the class beside mine so i will see him more often. Not a good thing. I will end my post. Oh, and go check out the song Fix A Heart by Demi Lovato from her just released two days ago album, Unbroken. It is really nice. Just like her song Skyscrapper. Maybe i would go get the album. It is worth buying. Anyway, gotta go. Bye~

Johnny English The Movie

I was going around youtube and was looking at the trailer for Johnny English Reborn then i wounded up watching Johnny English. And Mr. Bean is acting in it! I never knew he talked like that. But he still is as funny as always. Still can't believe he went to Oxford.

Johnny English Part 1/9
Johnny English Part 2/9
Johnny English part 3 is not available. sad.
Johnny English Part 4/9
Johnny English Part 5/9
Johnny English Part 6/9
Johnny English Part 7/9
Johnny English Part 8/9
Johnny English Part 9/9

Have fun watching :)

What should i do now?

Wearing his shirt. I miss him. We talked alot during the weekend. Seriously made my weekend special. We seriously have to spend more time together. Like seriously. And just a note, you don't have to come on Friday cause the pot luck is kinda cancelled so yeah. I think i should end my post here. Gonna go talk to him <3 Bye.

I think my blog is dead.

I don't have to think. My blog IS dead. Well, it was dead for the past few days ago. The reason is that my house internet hates me. The internet can only be accessed from the Galaxie tab and my dad's laptop but not from my laptop. So, now my dad did something and it works now. Go team daddy.

I didn't get to write about my raya holidays so i am just gonna tell you now. I had 2 new baju raya. Both pink, by the way. Yeah, i love pink and my family's theme this year is pink, so yeah. I have this really awesome shoe which is sandles and sneakers merged together. The laces are so cute. Here's a pic.

Laces FTW! :3

Currently, I am using twitter more often so i would just spam stuff there and my facebook status is like dead. I keep talking to the same person these few days. And that particular person replies really really late. But now that person is okay. We talk more often too. I think because i am in school and that person is not. Oh well.

My few days of raya is eating, eating and eating. And then, more eating. I think the 4 kilo's that i lost came back again. And my cousin has thing freaggin huge dslr i kinda played with it. He's a professional photographer, so i can hijack his camera anytime i want. And man, that baby is huge. If i drop it, mati lohh.

I think i should end my post here as i have nothing else to say. byes 

Love Language

This video made me cry, no matter how many times it is remade and repeated. It is so sweet.

The Original

The remake.

The Sri KDU version. 

WATCH IT!!!!!!